Time Never Stopped and Never Will

 “Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.” 

— Margaret Peters.

I entered 12th grade last month, the last year of my school life. And, the realisation of having grown up has felt more real than ever! When I see students at my school, I feel weird, because wasn't I in their place just a while ago? 

I remember playing with other kids in my society, as if it were yesterday. Calling each other through the landline or shouting from the ground floor to call my friends downstairs to play "ghar-ghar"(playing house), hide-and-seek, and making our own games with limited resources. I miss falling down the cycle, participating in random races we did, fighting bullies, etc.

Knowing the fact that I cannot go back in time to relive those fun times again is saddening. Now, my routine consists of school, tuitions, study, and a few hobbies when time permits. I want to go back to the times when I had no worry of the future except what I was gonna play next!

After COVID-19, I shifted to a city slower and calmer than most others, yet time didn't slow down. Days got busier and more constricted due to academics and trying to fit in, when all I ever was made for was not to fit in at all!

I still do have fun with my friends, we still do child-like actions, but we can't seem to go back to what was a free time and a golden time of our childhood. (God, I sound like a grandma right now 😅)

Right now, every moment with friends, be it at school, during hangouts, or sleepovers, is the moment we all try to make the best of, because we never know when we might see each other again after school is over and we all move away for college.

While writing this, I've come to a realisation that we don't value moments in life until they're gone and have no way of coming back. Things don't tell us they are changing until we realise they have.

Maybe that’s the quiet lesson time keeps teaching us, not loudly, but through phases we outgrow before we’re ready. And maybe that’s where I need to be more mindful of what I carry forward.

From childhood, I think the biggest lesson I want to hold on to is that people come into our lives for a reason, even if only for a while. Every person leaves behind something, a memory, a feeling, or a lesson, and maybe growing up is about learning to recognise that and carry it with us. To not take people for granted while they’re still around.

And as life moves forward, I don’t want distance to become an excuse for disconnection. I hope I stay in touch with the people who truly matter, no matter where we all end up. More than anything, I hope I never lose that unfiltered, childish part of myself, the one that laughs too loudly, acts without overthinking, and only really shows up around the people I feel at home with.

There are so many things I wish I could relive: the simplicity of playing without worrying about time, the excitement of small things, the ease with which happiness came. But maybe those moments weren’t meant to be held onto forever. Maybe they were meant to shape us, not stay with us.

So perhaps the lesson isn’t to wish for the past, but to learn from it. To carry forward what it taught us, and to live in a way where we don’t have to look back with regret. Because someday, this version of life will become a memory too, and when it does, I hope I can say that I truly lived it.

Love,

Ash