How I Know I’m Growing in Life (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who 

walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.” 

      -Haruki Murakami 

I stumbled across this quote recently, and it hit me harder than I expected. I didn’t know it before, but it put into words something I’ve been feeling for a while: growth isn’t always loud or obvious—it’s often messy, slow, and almost invisible while it’s happening.

For most, growth means overnight popularity, wealth, and fame. However, small steps and changes lead to the so-called overnight growth or spurt in life! Throughout 9th and 10th grade(Freshman and Sophomore years), I doubted myself at some points due to a lack of noticeable increase in grades and also social anxiety. However, that made me question- “So how do I really know I’m growing?” 

Here are some signs I noticed:

First, I started putting myself out of my comfort zone for my development. I went to my first Model United Nations(MUN) in October 2024, where I met so many people! Many have similar interests and exceptional skill sets. This was one of my first steps out of my comfort zone and has made all the difference. I had no friends accompanying me when I went to the MUN. I had no choice but to interact with everyone. This helped me make so many meaningful connections! I also started interacting with people at social events without fearing being judged. The strategy I used was- Fake it till you make it. I acted very extroverted, interacted with everyone around me, and didn't hesitate to ask for help whenever required. This not only helped me with putting myself out there but also helped me recognise what factors restricted my growth.

Then, I stopped seeking validation from people who failed to recognise my true self. I cut off friendships with people who drained me, those who constantly reacted negatively to my wins or progress in any aspect, and those who displayed jealousy over simple things. I also stopped thinking about why certain places didn't value my skillsets. Cutting these "so-called" friends or acquaintances helped me keep my emotional energy high and also enabled me to be more confident in everything I did

Next, I celebrated small wins like completing my homework and backlogs and studying by watching a comforting movie (Mainly Studio Ghibli movies!). I would reward myself with well-deserved breaks for scoring better on tests or even getting better at a skill.

Finally, I started allowing myself to say "no" and take breaks from others. Sometimes, it was as simple as choosing not to go out with friends because I had work or simply didn't feel like it. Additionally, I began to decline requests from certain individuals who wanted me to take on tasks I wasn't comfortable with, such as contributing major parts in most group projects or presentations instead of ensuring equal participation.

All these signs helped me realise—I was doing better in almost every aspect. Over the past two years, these subtle changes—often invisible even to me—have transformed me deeply. I’ve learned to recognize and appreciate the significance of these subtle shifts, which have fostered remarkable growth in my mindset and emotional well-being. The journey has taught me the value of patience and persistence; I’ve discovered that true change often occurs in quiet moments rather than grand gestures. While reflecting on this transformation, I feel empowered to embrace new challenges and opportunities with an open heart. Each day brings a chance to build on this foundation and further amplify the positive changes I’ve experienced. I’m excited about the future and eager to continue this path of self-discovery, knowing that even the smallest steps can lead to profound transformations. Growth doesn't always roar. Sometimes, it’s the quiet choice to keep going. I may not always see it—but now, I trust it.

Reminder: If you’re trying, reflecting, and being honest with yourself, you’re already growing.