First Impressions, Final Conclusions

 "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour."

— Stephen M.R. Covey

Have you ever caught yourself judging people at first glance?

Well, I have, more times than I'd like to admit. It's almost as though the brain automatically feels the need to assess everyone and everything to protect us. Evolutionarily, that instinct has served us well. It helps us identify potential threats, make quick decisions, and navigate an overwhelming world.

But somewhere between instinct and assumption, something shifts.

The stranger who seems arrogant might be anxious. The friend who suddenly grows distant could be fighting battles they haven't found the courage to speak about. The person we label as "lazy" may be carrying exhaustion we cannot see. Our minds often fill in blanks with stories that feel convincing, even when they're far from the truth.

Judgment is fascinating because it's rarely just about the person standing in front of us. More often than not, it's a mirror. The qualities we admire, resent, or criticise in others frequently reveal something about our own values, insecurities, expectations, or experiences. We don't just see people as they are; we see them through the lens of who we are.

And yet, not all judgment is harmful.

Without judgment, we wouldn't recognise manipulation, dishonesty, or situations that deserve caution. Discernment keeps us safe. It shapes our choices about who we trust, who we become close to, and what we allow into our lives. The problem isn't judging itself; it's confusing a first impression with the whole story. There's a difference between observing and concluding. One leaves room for curiosity, while the other shuts the door before anyone gets the chance to knock.

The real question may not be whether being judgmental serves a purpose, but rather if our judgments genuinely aid in understanding others or simply provide us with a sense of certainty about them. Certainty is a comforting state to be in, while understanding often requires more effort and reflection. This might explain why empathy seems to be less common than the formation of opinions.

So no, I don't claim to have outgrown judgment. I still stumble into assumptions more often than I'd like. But if there's one thing I hope to become better at, it's replacing certainty with curiosity, because people are far too complex to fit inside my first impression of them.